Fashion Police for Romance Sake

Mr Medic is so lucky to have me to keep an eye out for him!

I have saved him from several fashion emergencies in five years of marriage.

I appreciate that he is thrifty and wants to wear something into the ground before throwing it out, but occasionally the phrase "out with the old, and in with the new" just has to be enforced.  You can all thank me for a job well done.

Here are just a two upgrades:

There are no words for the ones on the left.  May they rest in peace!
Hooray for new Chaco's on a fantastic deal

The ones on the right are the new, just in case you couldn't tell.  You better believe
he got compliments the very day he sported those new-to-him kicks!

You can call me vain, petty, or what you will.  I get it...they are just a couple pair of shoes.  Why should I care what he puts on his tootsies?

I'll tell you why I care.

I believe that if you aren't what your spouse wants to look at, they are sure to find it elsewhere.  The world is full of things that will fight for your spouses attention, and will win if we (couples) don't do our part to keep up the romance.  General attraction, along with many other things, is part of that romance...at least in my mind.

I think it is important to say/do/wear things that we know make our partner attracted to us.

Some may argue that you should love your spouse just the way they are, or that they shouldn't have to change for you to be attracted to them.  I do not agree.

If Mr Medic were to tell me that he loves when I wear the color red, you better believe I'm gonna make it a point to wear it often, even if it is not my top choice.

If it's not an absolute no, as in he's not asking me to wear a muumuu or some other ridiculous request, why wouldn't I do what I could to show him I care about his likes and want to be attractive for him?

I must admit, it has taken some time for Mr Medic to warm up to my wardrobe requests.  In fact he was quite obstinate at first. I wish I had tried communicating the "why" behind my suggestions sooner.  I'm not sure how it even came to me or when, but I finally took the time to explain to him why I suggested different clothes or accessories.  Simply put, certain styles, colors, cuts, etc appeal to me more than others.  Combine those things that appeal to me with the man that I love and I go koo-koo for cocoa puffs (aka Mr Medic)

Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.  You know your husband has that one shirt you love him to wear...right?  Whether it be because it emphasizes his gorgeous blue eyes, or it reminds you of that incredible first date you went on together, there is a reason you love it.  And I bet he doesn't mind wearing it just because he knows you love it!

That doesn't seem so ridiculous now does it?

What about when you wear your "sunday best" to church.  Why is that?  Is it because you want to show the Lord that He is important to you?  Or maybe because it sets that worship experience apart from other experiences in life.

I say, why not give our partners our "I-want-to-be-attractive-to-you best" too?  It shows we are important to each other, and that we want our continued courtship to be set apart or better than anything else there is to offer.  I am not suggesting that we must always be 100% presentable and in tip-top condish, or that there is no place for the workout wear, jam-jams, or get-the-work-done-grubbies, but that we just do what we can to look smokin' hot for the person we want to spend the rest of forever with.

It's ok to want to look good to the one you love, and to want them to look good to you.

I hope I'm not alone in this.

Without getting personally graphic or embarrassing, what does your partner do/say/wear that makes them more attractive to you?  

Here's one of mine that isn't appearance related, just so you have a little evidence that I'm not completely superficial:

I am completely and utterly attracted to Mr Medic being a daddy.  I love watching him be with my boys- having fun with them, teaching them, caring for them, whatever.  I just want to grab that guy and kiss his face when I witness that.

Top L to R: Getting ready for bath time, reading a story, "holding" Goob
Bottom L to R: "nap" time, train ride with Twodles, going on a walk

Never Say Never

I'm not sure that I have ever told our little love story.  It's a pretty good one. Are you ready?

Mr Medic and I both served missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Cincinnati Ohio.   Now those of you who are LDS, I know what you are thinking!  I'll crush your suspicions immediately.  I had no interest in Mr Medic while serving, or after for that matter.  I swore I would never be one of "those girls" who marry someone from my mission, let alone someone younger than me.

As proof that I was not in the least bit interested in him, here's a little situation that played out while still serving a mission:

When I got my travel itinerary to go home and found out I would be with Mr Medic the entire way home I was pretty put off.  I was scheduled to be with him for a long layover in SLC and then be on a small plane with him the rest of the way home.  My mind turned to the first time I met him on a preparation day toward the beginning of my mission.  I asked him where he was from and when he told me, I said I was from the same place too.  Very rudely, he insisted that I wasn't, even after I showed him my drivers license.  After that, he was just one more missionary in a sea of many.  When I finally came to my senses, I turned to my companion and told her the news about who I was going home with.  She replied "What if you married him?"  I snapped back immediately "SICK...NO!"  hahahaha

    Case in point--->>

SOOOO....the day to travel came and I was so nervous I got sick with verbal diarrhea, spilling my life story to the poor boy (as if he really cared) the whole way home. Not only did I torture him on the plane, but I made him stick with me during our layover in SLC so I wouldn't be without a companion.  What's worse is that we ended up meeting all of my female family members in the airport for lunch.  His dream come true I'm sure.  

We both survived an awkward lunch and then boarded our tiny plane home for the last leg of our trip, to which I quickly became physically sick from the bumpy ride.  I'm sure we were both ecstatic to part ways once we landed, but our story doesn't end there.  Here's what happened next...

Check out my face!  hahaha (picture curtsey of the Sloth clan)

As we came down the arriving staircase I started to panic because I didn't see ANYONE I knew,  hence the confused/concerned look on my face.  Mr Medics family immediatly realized what was happening so they started taking pictures of me too and hugging me as if I was one of their own.  I was thankful for their concern but really just wanted to be left alone to hide in a hole till someone came for me.  Instead Mr Medics family insisted on waiting till someone came.  Talk about mortifying!  Turns out my mom and best friend were stuck on the highway because of an accident. My friend called her husband who was working in the same town as the airport to meet me till they could get there.  When her husband finally showed up I was so glad to be done with this humiliating situation.  Mr Medics family was still very hesitant to leave me with a man that looked like this:

Pretty mischievous looking right? hahahaha

I assured them over and over I knew him and that it was fine to go our separate ways. Shortly after the sloth clan left my mom and BBF showed up and the whole fiasco was finally over.

OR WAS IT?

A couple weeks later while living at home with my mom there is a knock at the door and who on earth do you think it was?  Mr Medic, of course!  I was not expecting him and was totally caught off guard.  He was returning a book I gave him on the plane, which I had totally forgot about.  Then through a series of very awkward events we started hanging out.  

Just one of our many awkward moments...our first date.

So there you have it.  Pretty soon after we started hanging out I got the strongest impression I had ever received, as if someone was talking directly to me, that I must say yes if he asked me to marry him.  I was in denial.  That just wasn't in my plans.  Doing so would go against everything I said I wouldn't do, and everything that I thought I wanted. Again, I swore I would never be another typical short term dating/courtship Mormon statistics.  

I have sinse come to learn that the moments when I think I have a better plan are the times when I really need to trust in the Lord and do what He asks.  I have never been let down, and the outcome has always far exceeded what I could have ever planned or imagined.  

My sweetheart proposed to me on December 1st, 2007 and I said YES...of course!

The night we got engaged (not even two months after coming home from our missions)

We were married 3 short months later, one of the greatest days of my life.  I cannot even begin to say all the wonderful blessings that have come from that choice.

March 1st, 2008

I can see now that there were events in my life that prepared me for that decision.  Events that made it possible for me to be in the right place at the right time.  God does have plans for us and if we allow it, He will lead us where we should go.

You see I was ready to serve a mission long before I was actually able to go.  I was so devastated that I had to wait longer than necessary.  I spent many long hours crying because it just seemed so unfair that things weren't going the way I wanted them to.  Then, while on my mission, I had to make the choice to whether go home a month earlier than expected or not.  I didn't want to go home earlier, in fact I wanted to extend and stay a missionary for as long as possible, but for some unknown reason knew I had to go.

If I didn't go on a mission when I did, or come home at the time I felt prompted to, I wouldn't have been on that plane with Mr Medic to give him that book.  I can't think of a better person I'd want by my side.

Love you babe!

Will the real Mr Medic Please Stand Up

Maybe I'm the only wife that gets excited when I can actually help Mr Medic with something other than the typical June Cleaver thing-having food on the table, or a clean and tidy home.  I always beg for something to do, usually with no result.  Its not like I can help him with his homework.  First of all his classes are way over my head, and secondly that's just kind of weird.

I think my need to "do something" for him stems from me always asking for his help.  Whether it's help with the kids when he really should be doing homework, getting things ready for a get together I've planned, or even getting the hair off my back after I brush it (I'm still in the shedding-like-crazy-I-just-had-a-baby phase)

Basically I want to feel like we are both giving and taking on an equal level.

Well yesterday was my lucky day.  I got TWO requests!  I can't remember the last time I was able to fulfill a need of his, so this was a special treat.

First, he called needing me to find out some information to put on his med school applications, and then when he got home we had a little fun taking some pictures to attach.

I don't have the luxury of photoshop to make me look better than I really am, so we do it old school style around here which usually consists of Mr Medic taking thousands of pictures of the exact same thing so I can get one that is juuuuusst right.

It was pretty hilarious having the tables turned this time.  I pointed out that now he should understand why I take so many pictures of the same thing-when its important you want it just right.  He remarked that yes, it is necessary...when its important!  He must not understand that its SUPER important that all my blog/FB peeps see me in tiptop condish! (I'm only mostly joking about how important looking fab is)

So here's a couple from our photo shoot:

We lovingly name this: Photos By Deb*.  We were dying laughing.
Uncle Rico's got some pretty good competition.

I know it may seem silly, but it was actually really fun, and something I will never forget.  I keep staring at these and it makes me so happy.  This is the Mr Medic I know, but not a lot of people get to see.  I feel like he is so busy all of the time that it's hard for him to enjoy time hanging out and relaxing with others.  These pictures represent only one of the many reasons I married this kid.  I love to laugh, and he sure make me laugh, a lot.  

*As much as we would have loved to use one of the others, we went with the center one for the applications.  Wish that baby face luck!  

I am not ashamed

It's risky business sharing your personal thoughts and opinions. You're always liable to rub someone the wrong way.  But my previous post stated that I had some things on my mind that kept me from announcing our 2nd baby on the way, so here goes nothin'!

FERTILITY & FAMILY PLANNING 

Just as a little background, because I haven't given any info about us yet...Mr Medic and I were sealed* in the Rexburg Idaho LDS Temple on March 1, 2008.  It was one the the best moments of my life.

Within weeks of our special day and after much thought and prayer, we decided to try for a little babe.  Some may think we are crazy, or you might feel like my mother who firmly believes a couple should have at least one year together prior to children. We already knew I may have some difficulties being able to get pregnant, so why prolong the waiting when it could be a long process?  

Eventually after no luck on our own, we started basic fertility testing.  It's a weird thing waiting for test results.  It's as if you want them to find something wrong, at least that way they can try to fix it.  But when test after test comes back basically normal, you start to lose hope.  It got to the point where my OB could only do one more test before referring us to a fertility specialist.  That was a scary thought.  We couldn't help but worry about how much more that would cost.  I mean having a baby is expensive enough, to then add fertility treatments on top of that.  

We started to question our desires.  Our church teaches that we should avoid excessive debt with the exception of a few essential things, but we also believe that the commandment given to Adam and Eve to "multiply and replenish the earth" still applies to us.  We continually prayed that we would be able to bring a child into the world.  One day I wondered was I really praying for the best thing.  I mean, it wasn't like I was asking for something selfish or unreasonable.  I just wanted to do what Heavenly Father wanted me to do.  So one night instead of praying that I would get pregnant, I asked that I would accept the Lord's will, whatever it was.  

Not soon after that experience, we found out I was FINALLY pregnant.   It was again one of the greatest moments of my life. I couldn't even believe that it was actually real...that I was pregnant! 

At that point it had been over 1.5 years of trying.  I know there are people that will read this that waited MUCH longer or are STILL waiting, and that 1.5 years seems like nothing.  But I firmly believe that when a person has a sincere desire, any amount of waiting is a long time.  

In preparing for #2 we had a lot to think about. First we had to take into account some of my own health issues.  Yes, I'm super cool and was born with only one kidney, which was something I didn't find out until after having Twodles.  Maybe that lone kidney was the culprit behind me having to sport these little beauties for so long while I was pregnant...

If this isn't good birth control, I don't know what is!

Once we were more informed of my health issues, and were given the ok to try again, we assumed that it would again be a long time before I got pregnant.  So its back to the same question: do we wait the "normal" amount of time between kids to start trying, and then have a long time before we even get pregnant?  At that rate, I would be 90 before I had all 6-8 kids I think I want to have!  I was also concerned that people would think I was wrong for having children closer together, or that Twodles would miss out on precious one on one time.  We were also trying to time it right with school, health insurance, and all of that other stuff that makes paying for a baby an issue.  I have no clue why it happened the way it did this time, but I got pregnant immediately!

We weren't expecting that to happen and all of a sudden I felt unprepared!  I was excited but nervous too.  What about all the people who aren't having the same luck that I am?  Its not fair to celebrate my joys when I know others are suffering.

The point is...it's very important to be sensitive of others.  It is an emotional and heartbreaking thing to want to have children and not be able to.  At the same time we shouldn't hide our own joys.  Its important to show gratitude for our blessings, and one way to show gratitude is to be excited and happy.  A person could be as sensitive as possible about fertility, or any matter, but still offend another person.  But that person chooses to be offended.  It is possible to be happy for other people without invalidating your own sadness.  I went to many baby showers while trying to get pregnant the first time.  I was still happy for them even though it wasn't me that was getting the shower.  Was I sad that it wasn't me?  YES, but does that mean that everyone else around me has to be sad too?  NO.

Find joy in your successes and blessings, don't be afraid to verbalize your gratitude for those blessings.  And at the same time, be mindful of those around you.  Be sensitive and respectful.  You never know the silent battles another person is facing.

I am constantly learning the same lesson over and over:  my decisions are between me, Mr. Medic, and most importantly, the Lord.  I am a visual person so here's my little equation to help keep it in my thick skull.  Feel free to use my template to make your own!  hahaha  jk

   

++


I know that I will do what is right for our family if I follow that equation.  Every family is different too.  One family may find they need more time as a couple before having children, or that more space in between children is essential for their sanity! Whatever the choice, it should be an educated and prayerful one. You can't go wrong that way!  Then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or believes!

Be brave, share your feelings about what I have written.  I won't hate!  We all need to hear what it is like to not be able to have babies, being scared of sharing your happiness, or the trials that come with family planning.  What have you done to overcome your hardships and turn them into strengths?

*Following this link will take you to a section titled "Our Members" In that section you will find the topic "Blessings of Temples"