"True Love" Only Takes 5 Year

Love takes work.  In our case, time and communication

I just found this post that never got published, written almost 1 year ago:

My family always tried to make a big deal over birthdays and special holidays.  Even if we had nothing, we sacrificed to get a super nice present for whomever the lucky person was.  It was a time to spoil someone who rarely received anything.   Gift giving was huge.  I don't really know why.  I mean, we understood that presents weren't everything, and it's the thought that counts.  Anyway, Mr. Medic didn't grown up that way.

Bring these two paradigms together and what do you get?  Unmet expectations!  And you can bet almost 100% of the time it's my expectations that aren't being met.  Let's take Valentine's Day for example...here's how it usually plays out:

In the fantastical oooey-gooey-chick-flick part of my mind I think to myself "self, wouldn't it be so cute and romantic if Mr Medic surprised me with gorgeous flowers and breakfast in bed...an announcement in the local paper professing his undying love...a horse drawn carriage ride through the bustling streets so everyone can gawk and be totally jealous?"  Come on, a girl can fantasize right?!  Sometimes I don't even have a specific idea in mind.  I think the surprise of anything he were to come up with that is thoughtful and caring would be amazing.  I don't want to have to spell it out for him.  I want the grand idea to come from his own genius noggin.  

I'll set these fantasies aside hoping he'll magically obtain some mind reading super power, and go about doing my best to make it a special day for him.  I heart attack his study area, concoct heart shaped food items, make a card and write a sweet love note.  (In MY defense I have been learning to tone my spending down quite a bit by finding things I can make, given the current poor-college-student lifestyle.)

Not to throw him under the bus, but from what I can recall Mr Medic hasn't done anything for the last few V Day's.  I know he loves me, and I don't need a cheesy card to tell me that, but it is nice.  (Now in HIS defense, he has learned to do very well for Christmas gift giving.  He goes all year asking for a couple bucks cash back when he does the shopping or stows away any loose change he has, and will get me something super amazing.)

So alas, I'm usually left feeling gypped, and Mr Medic feeling like a loser.  I pout, and he feels frustrated that he doesn't know what to do because nothing ever seems good enough for me.

Now here we are almost one year later-today (2-14-13):

I am proud to say that today was the best Valentines we have shared thus far.  Why? Because I got over my fantasy of Mr Medic reading my mind and told the poor boy exactly what I wanted.

A few days ago I let him know that I really wanted chocolate covered strawberries for Valentines Day. We openly acknowledged (aka communicated with each other ) the monumental event (me telling him my expectations) and how I also succumbed to not wasting my time or our money on much for him, because he doesn't really care.

Here's how the day played out because of that-

I woke up to Twodles saying "we're makin' bre-fast for ya mom!"  which was a delicious sausage egg mcmuffin...heart shaped of course.

Later, I quickly whipped up a little card for Mr Medic (thank you Pinterest) and paired it with one of his favorite candies from the grocery store.

He came home from classes and errands with 2 white roses (one from him and one from Twodles and Goob) I like to pretend I don't like flowers because they just die, but really what girl doesn't like a pretty flower?

He said he picked white because they looked cool.  I'd like to think it represents my purity!  hahaha

He also picked out the best extra dark chocolate and hand dipped some strawberries for me which we all devoured.

I am so glad that I just opened my mouth and told him what I wanted.  Instead of being crabby that my expectations weren't met, I was happy and even noticed the littlest things that make me love my forever valentine so much....

-he picked all the cheese off 3 pieces of pizza and carefully placed all the toppings back on, just so I could enjoy dinner dairy free
-took interest in the things that I enjoy, without being prompted


-he did all the dishes AND made the dessert I've been digging lately >>> (thanks Kristina, find her recipe here)


-he helped me make the day special for a few others, without complaint <<<<













I'm only regretting one thing today- that I didn't tell him what I expected or wanted a long time ago!

It's My Party & I'll....

I have spent 5 birthdays with Mr Medic and several years of other holidays.  Without going into too much detail (I'm sure it's a yawn anyway) I finally decided that I would let Mr Medic know exactly what I wanted to do for my birthday rather than expect him to use his X-Man power to read my mind.  In past years the X-Man thing just hasn't paid off, and I've been disappointed.  The poor guy does try hard, but we just aren't on the same waive length.  I'm a partier, the more the merrier, and he would much rather spend some quality family or one on one time.  (I'm kinda speaking for him, so I hope I'm right!)

What I wanted was a party!  I've tried to pitch the idea before on my Friday the 13th birthday with not much enthusiasm. (Doesn't anyone else think a Zombie party would have been super fun?)  

Anyway, late one night while feeding Goob (new name for #2 that is actually sticking) I had this brilliant idea for a party. Each month of the year has different national celebrations.  You know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Get the idea?  So I started looking up different celebrations for the best month of the year...NOVEMBER!  

I gave Mr Medic the shpeel, and even though he gave me the usual "I'm not following you" look, he consented to helping me achieve my wildest birthday dreams, even though it's not his cup of tea.  I am so glad he was willing to do what I wanted for my birthday, but I have to be honest in the end I did feel a little guilty asking him to do something he wasn't fond of just so I could have a fun time. 

Even though there were moments of stress, we I had a good time, and we learned some important lessons on working together and communication.  We'll see if we try anything like this again any time soon!  

The decorations went along with November being Aviation History Month

Folding Paper Airplanes

Flying Paper Airplanes

Instead of gifts each person brought a food item and filled our carry on bag to donate to the Family Crisis Center for National Hunger & Homelessness Awareness Month

Bubble Gum Blowing Contests for TMJ Awareness month

Reese's Ice Cream Cake for Peanut Butter Lovers Month

DDR just because it's fun

We put together New Mother Packets for the local hospital in honor of 

Family Caregivers Awareness Month

Notice the garland in the background...all thanks to Mr Medic for folding tons and tons of airplanes 

And a party just isn't complete without a photo booth to celebrate MO-VEMBER

HERE'S ALL OUR WONDERFUL FRIENDS THAT MADE IT SO MUCH FUN! 

AND FOR MY TWO FAVORITES THAT MADE IT ALL POSSIBLE...LOVE YOU BOTH! 

Another type of Heartburn

I can't sleep lately...

Part of growing up usually includes friends drifting apart for one reason or another.  Its like your BFF in junior high.  The one that is attached to your hip, who you wouldn't be caught dead without, and seems to be able to finish all your sentences.  A summer breaks rolls by and all of a sudden once you get to high school you hardly talk.  If you were to ask each person what the cause was, you may not be able to get a straight answer from either.  Or maybe one could tell you exactly what it was while the other is completely clueless.  

I guess I'm still "growing up"  because this recently happened to me, and I'm the lame brain that is completely clueless as to what really caused the drift.  I'm not saying we were BFF's by any means, but the drift occurred none-the-less.  I find myself laying in bed at night wondering what on earth happened and wishing I could have known what to do different.  Early one morning, after a quick evacuation of my bladder (something that most pregnant woman do frequently) I couldn't fall back to sleep.  My mind immediately wandered to this same thing, and my heart began to burn.  But it wasn't the usual stomach acid making its way to my corroded esophagus.

Maybe I shouldn't give it another thought, I mean who really cares right?!?!?  But maybe so.  Shouldn't I be concerned that I have jaded someone so much that they don't want to associate with me anymore.  Is it not human nature to want to be liked and not hated.

Image Source

Let's say I were to treat this different kind of heartburn the same way I would the other.  Half-asleep, I would fumble around for my faithful bottle of TUMS that now resides at my bedside table.  The TUMS provides almost instant relief, but without fail the burn is back and sometimes with even greater force.  It's not a permanent fix.  So for this different heartburn, I could give myself a little dose of medicine in the form of self talk like: "I didn't do anything wrong" or "give it time, it will all blow over and be forgotten"  But who am I kidding it will still be there again to cause trouble.

So what to do?  I have apologized for what seemed to be the problem.  But even if I am not able to make amends, I can still make a change within myself.  This heartburn won't be for nothing!  It will leave its mark on my heart that will remind me to be more cautious of the effects of my actions and words.  I guess I might even say this heartburn hurts so good.  Learning to enjoy someone despite your differences and being able to communicate and understand them is an even more productive part of that "growing up" process.  

May we all have a chance to experience a little heartburn now and again to keep us growing up!