September 9, 2012

Cause I've Gotta Have Faith

Now that I've got that George Michael song stuck in your pretty little head...

Someone asked me the other day if Mr Medic and I applied for Medicaid for our boys.  At first I simply replied "No" but as she gave me what seemed to be a puzzled look I knew I had to say more.  You see, to this particular girl, Mr Medic and I are somewhat of an example.  We (more specifically Mr Medic) had an important leadership role over her and the guy who would eventually become her husband.  I could tell she wanted direction...that what I said would actually be considered.

The weird thing is, I felt very uncomfortable.  If you've read this post and its subsequent comments, you will understand my apprehension to share my opinion on the matter.  I found myself avoiding eye contact, like I was Cyclops from X-Men.  I fumbled on my words, and danced around the idea that, no Mr Medic and I do not take Medicaid because we feel that there are others that sincerely need it more than we do and we are able to meet our needs through hard work and lots of sacrifice.

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She responded that what I had said made sense, and didn't seem too put off....phew!  She went on to talk about her options with student insurance, which we also use.  She commented that they would be able to make it work, but not if they had to move across country.  With that I had to be on my way because of a fussy little babe.

It ended up being one of those moments where you replay it over and over thinking of what you could have said, but didn't.  I wondered why I had to feel so awkward telling her my opinion, which probably comes down to not wanting to offend.  But more importantly, now that I think about it, I'm kicking myself for not taking the opportunity to share something more than just my opinion.  Whatever I may feel about the Medicaid matter, I should have responded to her concern about making ends meet with a reminder about faith.

I have seen time and time again, my inability to see how things are ever going to work out.  As much as I would like to control most situations and solve problems on my own, I simply cannot comprehend all things.  This specific matter of bearing children on a student income is one of the most daunting ideas imaginable.  If I waste spend my time trying to figure out the logistics of it, we would never have children.

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..."I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."
I had hope that as college students we would be able to provide for our needs, but I couldn't see how that could happen.  Only by faith have we been able to make it happen!  I whole heartily believe that with faith anything is possible.

Now one of the most basic ideas of faith suggests action in order to "prove" that we have faith.  Our first action was that we made a decision not to use Medicaid, not knowing beforehand how it would be possible.  Second, we educated ourselves on what our options were.  We familiarized ourselves with our insurance policies, and began to plan accordingly.  Then, we each did our best at working jobs, budgeting, and any other means of monetary preparation.  In each of our two sons births less than ideal circumstances occurred, causing for an increase in what we anticipated as our portion of cost.

Emergency c-section + not one, but TWO anesthesia bills + ...

Baby in the NICU for 5 days = EXPENSIVE!  
Again we had no clue how we were going to work this out, but we knew we did our part.  I set payment plans with those we owed, and continued to live frugally.  Within a matter of time, our faith has proved worthwhile.  After each child's birth, without fail Mr Medic has been given opportunity to work wildfires.  Its a time for him to work super hard and for me to experience being a single mother for a bit, all so that we can catch up on what we owe.  I consider this a true blessing from my Father in Heaven.  I know that He is aware of His children and will do for us what seems impossible...when we do our part.

I think we sell ourselves and God short sometimes.  We don't allow ourselves to prove what we are made of, that we can in fact do hard things, or allow God to show His great power.  Think about it, how often have each of us felt like there was no way possible that fill in the blank could work out, and simply moved forward with the only logical solution without even considering something that doesn't seem sensible?  God doesn't work logically.  He works by miracles, and I know without a doubt miracles happen all of the time.

In the Old Testament in the book of Malachi, Chapter 3 verse 10, it reads:
"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of haven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
God wants us to test Him.  He wants us to try our faith, and see what comes of it.  I have never been let down.  Things may have not been easy or right on "my" schedule, but He has always taken care of us.

I am so grateful to have experiences that have taught me, not only the meaning of sacrifice and hard work, but that God truly does love me.

I'd love to have some guest posts on the topic, about you?  Do you have any experiences with trying your faith and seeing Gods hand in your life?  Let me know if would like to share your story.  

1 comment:

  1. Yes. Heavenly Father definitely tried our faith with the timing of our son!!! But because of prayer and fasting we knew that he was supposed to come when he came. I would be happy to share my story with you.