June 23, 2013

Willingly Insane

Goob turned 1 this week, which just so happens to be the magical time my mind starts telling me it's time for another.  Ok, so maybe it's been on my mind for longer, but who's keeping track?

I've always wanted to have a big family, but I feel like there are a lot of factors not in my favor.

For starters, I'm not getting any younger.  I will be 29 this year, and honestly can't imagine having children into my 40's.  Selfishly, I want to be done with diapers far before I will be wearing them myself.

Then, without getting on my soap box about the form of delivering children, I'm quite sure my body will fail me before my heart will.

Of all the reasons not to have more children my peers are of most concern, which is odd because generally I don't give a hoot if someone doesn't agree with me.  We are all entitled to our own opinions, and I know in the end I will do what is right for me.

When I talk about having more kids the response I get are usually these:
"have you forgotten how crazy it is with two?"..."it's not going to get any easier"..."if you are overwhelmed with two, what's it going to be like with three?"...
Since when did we start discouraging people from doing hard things?

My mind keeps turning to the athlete.  They train and push themselves harder and harder to get better at what they love and are passionate about.  It is painful and I'm sure sometimes downright miserable.  But there are also moments of complete ecstasy and satisfaction.  Even when the hard times seem to outweigh the moments of satisfaction, they still do it.  They wouldn't dream of giving up what they enjoy.

I've seen the quote "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results" But isn't that precisely what an athlete does?  They run the same distance over and over hoping to get faster....and usually do.

A mother bears children over and over and surely she can expect different results with each child!  She will find each child to have different strengths, weaknesses, and definitely different personalities.  She herself will certainly develop and grow to parent differently with each child too.

Either athletes and mom's are willingly insane, or that little phrase is bogus to begin with.  

I guess what I'm saying is, I want to do hard things like having children over and over for many reasons, but one of the most important reasons is because I know I will grow and learn and become a different, or better person.  If that sounds insane...so be it!

Insane or not, wouldn't it be lovely if, rather than remind a woman of how crazy she must be, we simply gave her a little credit for willingly doing hard things?


  1. I think you and all mothers are awesome. Forget marathons and ultra-marathons. Forget climbing K2, Anna Purna, Mt. Everest. Just DECIDING to be a mother, and then deciding to have more, says a great deal about your fortitude and resolve. You can do hard things, but more importantly, you are able to do these hard things because of the enabling strength through our Savior, Jesus Christ. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nether are your ways my ways saith the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8-9) The world may tell us we are crazy, but that's ok, because we are not doing it for the world. We will (and do) have concourses of angels to help us. Being a mom is pretty awesome. Good for you for deciding to do hard things. That example will touch so many (me included!!)