My not so little boy biffed it good the other day. He has a routine of running out of our apartment complex the back way, down the handicap ramp and meeting us out front. I had Goob with me and was locking up when I heard Twodles start to scream. As I hurried down to him, I initially saw nothing out of the ordinary, but in an instant blood started gushing out of his nose and I noticed his knees were scraped up too.
The moment he saw the blood dripping from his nose he went ballistic. There was no calming him. He was out of control. I did my best to reassure him everything would be ok and that I would take care of him, but nothing I could do would make him better.
I knew I had to stop his nose from bleeding and clean his legs, and it wasn't going to end well. In my attempt to care for him I found myself getting very frustrated, and losing patience. He was down right refusing my help. Twodles wasn't listening to a word I was saying, in fact he started getting so angry he was hurting himself and me. My heart was aching for him. He was hurt after all, but I couldn't keep from being irritated at him for being so defiant. As I gathered the cleaning supplies I knew I would have to take drastic measures. With one leg over his trunk and my other leg over is ankles I pinned him down long enough to clean and bandage his knees, all the while he was screaming, spitting, thrashing...just downright livid. I kept thinking how obnoxious it was that I was being met with such hostility when all I was trying to do was help.
At the very moment he calmed and I could "see" my sweet little boy again, I felt terrible for letting myself get so irritated and upset with him. Thankfully, I was able to take Twoldes in my arms to snuggle and give him the gentleness he needed. I told him that I was so sad he was hurt, that I wanted him to feel better, and that I was only trying to fix his owies.
Later, when Mr Medic got home, I recounted the experience letting him know how disappointed I was in myself for not responding in a better way. He kindly brought to my attention that often Heavenly Father must feel like I did.
He wants so bad to help His precious children, but we are too defiant and stubborn to accept what is good for us. And I guess I can even imagine Heavenly Father putting both legs over His child to pin them down, just so He can do what He knows will be best for them.
I'm not sure that Twodles comprehends that what I had to do was only to help him, but I'd like to hope that I can look back on moments in life when I felt "pinned down" and see that it was my loving Father in Heaven only doing what He knew would be best for me.