I had Mr Medic do the usual belly pictures when we got home from our appointment. Normally, I can expect him to grumble and fuss because I make him take about 800 pictures of the EXACT SAME THING. Then I look at them, and ask for 800 more. I'm a little bit of a freak like that. I try to explain to him that the "whole world" will be looking at these and picking apart every tiny detail, and unfortunately for me I don't have photoshop to make everything look "naturally" beautiful.
Guess what happened this time? He was so sweet, he didn't complain or grumble one bit. He even started teasing saying "work with me...strike a pose...the camera loves you!" I found myself relaxing, getting into my ANTM groove and even having fun. As I looked through the 8 (instead of 800) pictures I found something unusual happen. I turned to Mr. Medic and said "Guess what babe? I feel pretty...I even kinda like myself!" He stared at me like I was speaking Klingon or Elvish and asked "For real?" I replied "YES!" He then said "I think that is the first time in 4 years of marriage you have said that. I have tried every day to make you feel that way, and hear you say that."
|21 weeks, and feelin' pretty!|
We talked about how it COULD have been the fact that I splurged a little at a good sale and bought some maternity clothes. Initially when I bought the clothes I felt proud of myself for the good deals I got, and was excited to model them for Mr. Medic. He was excited with me and teased that he hoped the purchases went towards our deductible. But then the guilt set in! How could I spend money on myself? Surely I could squeeze into my other clothes, or pull out some old ones from when I weighed a lot more. I just tried not to think about it after that.
Mr. Medic has even tried to convince me on numerous occasions that it is worth it to him for me spend some extra money to feel pretty and presentable. I usually try to ignore him because I know it just means more work and sacrifice on his part. I guess it could kinda be like that phrase "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" It probably makes a man feel good when he knows his woman is happy and confident. It's probably way more attractive too.
After the "I feel pretty" moment I realized I wasn't showing how I truly felt in a new outfit because I was to busy feeling guilty for spending the money. I learned how important it is to verbalize how those splurges really make me feel. It shows Mr. Medic that I appreciate his hard work.
Now I don't think it was just the clothes that made the difference. I know that the weight loss prior to getting pregnant played a huge roll too. But, there is more than just the outward mumbo jumbo! I have been trying to be more productive in my day. I make an effort to get out of the house and to the gym, but don't beat myself up when I don't make it. I turn off the cartoons and spend precious time with Twodles reading books and laughing together. I work hard to magnify my church duties. I turn on the tunes and even dance around the house occasionally...I forgot what music can do for me! I focus on being grateful for what I do have, instead of what I don't...and so much more.
Its not like our circumstances have changed. Our financial situation is the same. We will be driving our current unreliable car to its grave before purchasing another one, like I had hoped. I don't get to see my sweetheart any more than usual. And I'm STILL changing poopy diapers.
I am learning just how influential my attitude is on our entire family. When I feel good about myself and life in general, everyone around me tends to absorb that positive energy and in turn, they start to feel the same way.
The point is, nothing has changed except MY ATTITUDE!
It's a good good life, when I make it that way!
And because I believe that when others give input, a blog can be beneficial for everyone...especially me:
What do you do to get out of a funk or stay positive and upbeat even when things are tough?