"Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angles, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there." -Alma 36:22 (The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ)I couldn't stop thinking about this verse. I kept wondering what it would be like to "long to be there." I mean I get it...being with God is a pretty fantastic thing, better than anything we could ever imagine, but at the moment I don't long to be there over where I am now.
After thinking for a while, I have come to realize that I I don't feel assured I will actually be able to be in God's presence. I haven't done anything terrible, but I can definitely always do better. I would never want to leave this earth with a feeling of "I wish I'd done better at________, I wish I had mended my relationship with ________, or I wish I had changed ________ about myself." Which are all things I can say right now, hence why I don't long to be with God.
Life should not be lived full of regrets, and thankfully through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can all be forgiven of sin and wrongdoings.
|The Saviors suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. He took upon Him all our |
sin, pain, suffering, etc. that we might be forgiven of our wrongs, and be relieved of our own suffering.
"And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people conceding the coming of the one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world."
"Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my hear; O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death."
"And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more."
"And oh, what joy, and what marvelous like I did behold; yea my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!"
"Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy."
-Alma 36:17-21I have been blessed to know what it feels like to have sin removed from my memory. It is a gift from the Savior that I truly cherish. I hope to one day live in such a way that would allow me to "long to be there." Until then, I will work each day to improve (repent) and progress.