March 31, 2014

Do I long to be there?

Scripture of the Day: 
"Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angles, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there." -Alma 36:22 (The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ)
I couldn't stop thinking about this verse. I kept wondering what it would be like to "long to be there." I mean I get it...being with God is a pretty fantastic thing, better than anything we could ever imagine, but at the moment I don't long to be there over where I am now.

After thinking for a while, I have come to realize that I I don't feel assured I will actually be able to be in God's presence. I haven't done anything terrible, but I can definitely always do better.  I would never want to leave this earth with a feeling of "I wish I'd done better at________, I wish I had mended my relationship with ________, or I wish I had changed ________ about myself." Which are all things I can say right now, hence why I don't long to be with God.

Life should not be lived full of regrets, and thankfully through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can all be forgiven of sin and wrongdoings.
The Saviors suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. He took upon Him all our
sin, pain, suffering, etc. that we might be forgiven of our wrongs, and be relieved of our own suffering.
I love the experience of Alma, in the same chapter:
"And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people conceding the coming of the one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world." 
"Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my hear; O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death." 
"And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." 
"And oh, what joy, and what marvelous like I did behold; yea my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" 
"Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy." 
         -Alma 36:17-21
I have been blessed to know what it feels like to have sin removed from my memory. It is a gift from the Savior that I truly cherish. I hope to one day live in such a way that would allow me to "long to be there." Until then, I will work each day to improve (repent) and progress.

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