July 11, 2012

WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU

So I was chatting with a neighbor about the joys of post labor bodily functions and dealing with a newborn and this was her reaction "Really...cause you don't ever hear about that, but I guess it could be because most women don't come out into society for a couple of months."  After that conversation I decided that maybe more people need to hear how it really is.  I doubt any males even read this blog, but just in case, this is your warning!  It may be TMI, but I think every woman needs to know what "they" don't tell you.


Friday/Saturday we hit an all time low with new baby boy.  I was up until 5 am with him.  He would not sleep for anything..it was a nightmare!  He was basically attached to my breasts all night long.  I can't even tell you how sore my nipples were.  Both have cracks on them the size of the Grand Canyon, from pumping in the hospital, which have no time to heal up with constant feeding.  I couldn't be too annoyed at him though.  He was having complications from the circumcision that was done on Wednesday.  And by complications I mean it was weepy and oozy looking and the plasti-bell fell off after only 3 days, which they say should be on for at least a week to 10 days.  Oh the joys of having/being a boy!  Poor little guy.



I on the other hand was experiencing some of my own discomforts all night too.  I was completely constipated thanks to pain medicine, but REALLY needing to go.  Along with that I have been experiencing difficulty urinating.  I have the intense urge to go, but nothing really comes out, maybe a little trickle.  If I want to go, I have to push as if having a bowel movement, and only then am I able to really get anywhere with my bladder.  This happens from using a catheter, and basically having to retrain the bladder to go on its own.  I had the pleasure of wearing my catheter home which meant mine was in for a week where most women have it in for a lot shorter period of time.  And lets not forget the constant bleeding.  My Dr even did a great job to clean me out after the c-section and I haven't had near as much bleeding as with Jack, but its still no fun.

Packin' heat is not all it's cracked up to be!  

Anyway, I finally got to go to bed for a little bit, but of course Twodles wakes up around 7:30, so I was up once again to "supervise" him.  That basically consisted of me laying on the couch half conscious, only dragging myself to the TV about 4 times to put in a new movie.  I know...it was THAT bad!

Twodles current past-time while mommy breastfeeds/can't get off the couch from exhaustion .  This "I-use-movies-as-a-babysitter" phase won't last forever right?  That's what I keep telling myself anyway...whatever helps me sleep better!

Sometime around 11am I got a text from the above mentioned neighbor wondering if we had remembered to pick up their Bountiful Basket...GGGGGGAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  How could I forget?  That is so unlike me, I am very reliable.  I was devastated, and began to sob uncontrollably.  I interrupted Mr Medic at work begging him to call the fire station where they take the abandoned baskets.  Surely he could get it back.  He of course was concerned at my hysteria and did his best to reclaim it, but with no luck.

This event threw me over the emotional edge and I was a complete wreck for the rest of the day.  I cried over absolutely everything.  As I sat helpless only really moving to nurse baby boy, or do the bare minimum for Twodles, I kept thinking things like "I'm so horrible, I haven't taken Twodles out of the house all day...he's already watched 4 movies..." and on and on!  When Mr. Medic got home he took us out for some "quick" food and then to Walmart for a few things to get us through the weekend.  I remember looking at people and thinking "their life is so normal...they have it so easy...they don't have to stay up all night with their baby...my life is OVER!"  hahahaha  Typing it even makes me laugh!  I seriously felt like it was the end of the world.  I felt like I was an alien person in a place that I didn't belong.  Surely no one was in my situation or ever had been.  I made sure to tell Mr. Medic how I was feeling and he was sweet to comfort me and tell me my emotions were real and that it would be ok.

Thankfully, I have a merciful Father in Heaven who blessed us with some decent sleep that night.  I guess otherwise I might not have made it to church the next day.  It felt so nice to get out of the house and to be around other people, even though I'm in the awkward I'm-not-pregnant-anymore-but-still-look-it phase.  My regular clothes are a little tight especially around the incision area, and my pregnant clothes are so last month!  Baby boy tried distracting me from my wardrobe woes at church by taking advantage of the silence and totally filling his diaper.  The immature kid in me just had to laugh out loud.

So far I haven't had that big of a meltdown again, but I won't be surprised if one is just around the corner.  Probably just when I think I've made it and survived the insane sleep deprived phase, it will hit me once again.  For now my main goal is to keep both boys content and keep myself sane which some days means I have to work really hard on my multitasking skills!  You moms know what I mean right?

Breastfeeding AND giving a horsey ride (oh AND taking a picture...hello!)

Quick splash in the puddles during a rain storm while the boys were napping = How I stay sane!  

What are some ways you cope with the nuances of newborn life?  And what helps you get out of a post-delivery hormonal funk?  

9 comments:

  1. Cartoons on the tv and praying naptime is atleast the sametime long enough for me to close my eyes. Oh and now a himidifier next to chico bed. He slept so much better last night.

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  2. 1. ASK FOR HELP. I am usually not one to ask for help. Especially, with my first couple kids. But having someone take Jack for a few hours to play will help him get out and have some fun playtime and give you a little down time.

    2. Prayers. I have been feelings especially overwhelmed and completely bored at the same time here in West Va. When I pray for help, help always comes.

    3. Remember that your life is different now and that's OK. You might not be able to take on as many tasks and favors as you used to. DON"T offer to pick up someone's Bountiful Basket at 7am when you have a newborn, a toddler, and major lack of sleep!! You are too sweet Chandee and always so willing to serve. Don't get down on yourself for having to take a little break for awhile.

    4. Remember most of us have gone through the same first few weeks after having a baby and somehow we all survive!!! Life will become normal again (always busier but somewhat normal :)

    5. And for this one I would say go eat a bunch of Oreos but I know doing this eventual only makes me more miserable bc I still look 3 months pregnant.

    LOVE YA GIRL!

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    1. My mom tries to come over once or twice a week to help out for a bit. I am very blessed to have her nearby. At the same time I don't want to take advantage too much cause I'll just be in a mess eventually when I have to do it all on my own. You are so right about prayers. I find myself saying small quick prayers all the time "please help baby boy to stay asleep/ have a settled stomach. The neighbor we were picking up the basket for did us a favor and ordered bread for us since I didn't want a basket. They ended up going out of town and Nick said he would get it, which meant me reminding him and I totally forgot. OREOS sounds perfect right about now.

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  3. For me it was different with each kid, but on the top of the list is ask for help for sure. And remember that it will pass. Be patient with yourself and let yourself get back into the groove. I had a HARD time with Eleanor, but going to church and not staying home forever helped. With Thomas going back to school helped. Also if you are feeling like you are stuck and can't get out of the slump, get a blessing. Blessings are an amazing way to be reminded of how much Heavenly Father loves you and is aware of your needs. You are doing great! Going from 1 to 2 is hard, but it will get better!

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  4. It really is things you don't hear until you just have to experience it all yourself. I remember feeling mortitfied by how extremely hard it was to adjust and felt annoyed at the same time because i didn't really feel warned by it all. I might not had it as bad because I didn't have to deal with C-section recovering, but still having regular painful recovery wasn't exactly something I had expected either, I never felt so much to just pee! But I would have to agree that for me the only way I ever survived those insane times is from prayer and a loving husband (and then lots of movies to fill the time till things got better). For the life of me I could never understand why women would inflict shaken baby syndrome on their baby, but after having one, I came VERY close at times to being another one of those women. It was everything harder than I could have imagined, and being sleep deprivied makes it all the more intense. But like I said, I don't know if I could have survived it without prayer, especially survived without doing serious damage to my little girl in the process. I will just have to keep it all in mind for this next one coming, but at least this time I know that it can be pretty bad, so at least this time I wont be mad for no one telling me :)
    -Whitney J

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  5. I had a really hard time after David was born. I wanted so badly to breastfeed my baby, and despite all efforts (pumping and feeding every 20 minutes, lactation nurse, la leche league, and a few good supportive friends), it didnt happen. It didnt make it any easier, when I would pull out a bottle and be judged with fiery eyes. But while I was trying, a neighbors mom came over and held/watched David so Mark and I could go on a little walk-it was so so nice to get out of the house and have fresh air!
    On top of all that, Mark was going to Iraq for 13 months. Talking with a counselor really helped-somebody out of the situation, somebody not emotionally tied to the situation.

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    1. Just wanted to say, don't lose hope about breastfeeding future children. I had to supplement with #1 from the get go and by about 6 months I finally came to grips with the reality that I had nothing in me to give him. I used a manual pump the entire time, took all the herbs, ate right, drank lots of water...EVERYTHING! This time I almost have more than #2 can handle. I'm not sure what the difference is, maybe that I've done it already and am less stressed, or that I actually went into labor and hormones kicked in and my body started doing what it needed to get milk...I don't really know the difference. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it lasts. Its so hard to have people judge your circumstances without knowing what is really going on. I'm so sorry for that. You are a trooper for being a single mommy while your husband was out doing something very heroic! Thank you both!

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  6. I have to clarify too that this post has been in the works for about a week and a half now, so this episode was actually a little bit ago. I have been feeling a lot better...fingers crossed

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  7. A week after my c-section rob took me on a date out to dinner. that made me feel like life could be normal. I really took it easy after my c-section for about 5 weeks I only did the bare minimum. I think having my mom here for 1 week, then my mil here for another week helped cuz I had someone to talk to/help out/etc. I did cry the morning I was left by myself for the first time. And a couple times everyone in the house was crying, but we made it. Then suddenly I felt better & started adding things slowly to my day. At 8 weeks I rarely had pain. Now at 11 weeks I am working out & feeling sore, but a good sore, not a 'wow I just had a c-section sore'. The baby does get more reliable in eating/sleeping schedule which helps a.l.o.t!

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