"True Love" Only Takes 5 Year

Love takes work.  In our case, time and communication

I just found this post that never got published, written almost 1 year ago:

My family always tried to make a big deal over birthdays and special holidays.  Even if we had nothing, we sacrificed to get a super nice present for whomever the lucky person was.  It was a time to spoil someone who rarely received anything.   Gift giving was huge.  I don't really know why.  I mean, we understood that presents weren't everything, and it's the thought that counts.  Anyway, Mr. Medic didn't grown up that way.

Bring these two paradigms together and what do you get?  Unmet expectations!  And you can bet almost 100% of the time it's my expectations that aren't being met.  Let's take Valentine's Day for example...here's how it usually plays out:

In the fantastical oooey-gooey-chick-flick part of my mind I think to myself "self, wouldn't it be so cute and romantic if Mr Medic surprised me with gorgeous flowers and breakfast in bed...an announcement in the local paper professing his undying love...a horse drawn carriage ride through the bustling streets so everyone can gawk and be totally jealous?"  Come on, a girl can fantasize right?!  Sometimes I don't even have a specific idea in mind.  I think the surprise of anything he were to come up with that is thoughtful and caring would be amazing.  I don't want to have to spell it out for him.  I want the grand idea to come from his own genius noggin.  

I'll set these fantasies aside hoping he'll magically obtain some mind reading super power, and go about doing my best to make it a special day for him.  I heart attack his study area, concoct heart shaped food items, make a card and write a sweet love note.  (In MY defense I have been learning to tone my spending down quite a bit by finding things I can make, given the current poor-college-student lifestyle.)

Not to throw him under the bus, but from what I can recall Mr Medic hasn't done anything for the last few V Day's.  I know he loves me, and I don't need a cheesy card to tell me that, but it is nice.  (Now in HIS defense, he has learned to do very well for Christmas gift giving.  He goes all year asking for a couple bucks cash back when he does the shopping or stows away any loose change he has, and will get me something super amazing.)

So alas, I'm usually left feeling gypped, and Mr Medic feeling like a loser.  I pout, and he feels frustrated that he doesn't know what to do because nothing ever seems good enough for me.

Now here we are almost one year later-today (2-14-13):

I am proud to say that today was the best Valentines we have shared thus far.  Why? Because I got over my fantasy of Mr Medic reading my mind and told the poor boy exactly what I wanted.

A few days ago I let him know that I really wanted chocolate covered strawberries for Valentines Day. We openly acknowledged (aka communicated with each other ) the monumental event (me telling him my expectations) and how I also succumbed to not wasting my time or our money on much for him, because he doesn't really care.

Here's how the day played out because of that-

I woke up to Twodles saying "we're makin' bre-fast for ya mom!"  which was a delicious sausage egg mcmuffin...heart shaped of course.

Later, I quickly whipped up a little card for Mr Medic (thank you Pinterest) and paired it with one of his favorite candies from the grocery store.

He came home from classes and errands with 2 white roses (one from him and one from Twodles and Goob) I like to pretend I don't like flowers because they just die, but really what girl doesn't like a pretty flower?

He said he picked white because they looked cool.  I'd like to think it represents my purity!  hahaha

He also picked out the best extra dark chocolate and hand dipped some strawberries for me which we all devoured.

I am so glad that I just opened my mouth and told him what I wanted.  Instead of being crabby that my expectations weren't met, I was happy and even noticed the littlest things that make me love my forever valentine so much....

-he picked all the cheese off 3 pieces of pizza and carefully placed all the toppings back on, just so I could enjoy dinner dairy free
-took interest in the things that I enjoy, without being prompted


-he did all the dishes AND made the dessert I've been digging lately >>> (thanks Kristina, find her recipe here)


-he helped me make the day special for a few others, without complaint <<<<













I'm only regretting one thing today- that I didn't tell him what I expected or wanted a long time ago!