March 18, 2012

Another type of Heartburn

I can't sleep lately...

Part of growing up usually includes friends drifting apart for one reason or another.  Its like your BFF in junior high.  The one that is attached to your hip, who you wouldn't be caught dead without, and seems to be able to finish all your sentences.  A summer breaks rolls by and all of a sudden once you get to high school you hardly talk.  If you were to ask each person what the cause was, you may not be able to get a straight answer from either.  Or maybe one could tell you exactly what it was while the other is completely clueless.  

I guess I'm still "growing up"  because this recently happened to me, and I'm the lame brain that is completely clueless as to what really caused the drift.  I'm not saying we were BFF's by any means, but the drift occurred none-the-less.  I find myself laying in bed at night wondering what on earth happened and wishing I could have known what to do different.  Early one morning, after a quick evacuation of my bladder (something that most pregnant woman do frequently) I couldn't fall back to sleep.  My mind immediately wandered to this same thing, and my heart began to burn.  But it wasn't the usual stomach acid making its way to my corroded esophagus.

Maybe I shouldn't give it another thought, I mean who really cares right?!?!?  But maybe so.  Shouldn't I be concerned that I have jaded someone so much that they don't want to associate with me anymore.  Is it not human nature to want to be liked and not hated.

Image Source

Let's say I were to treat this different kind of heartburn the same way I would the other.  Half-asleep, I would fumble around for my faithful bottle of TUMS that now resides at my bedside table.  The TUMS provides almost instant relief, but without fail the burn is back and sometimes with even greater force.  It's not a permanent fix.  So for this different heartburn, I could give myself a little dose of medicine in the form of self talk like: "I didn't do anything wrong" or "give it time, it will all blow over and be forgotten"  But who am I kidding it will still be there again to cause trouble.

So what to do?  I have apologized for what seemed to be the problem.  But even if I am not able to make amends, I can still make a change within myself.  This heartburn won't be for nothing!  It will leave its mark on my heart that will remind me to be more cautious of the effects of my actions and words.  I guess I might even say this heartburn hurts so good.  Learning to enjoy someone despite your differences and being able to communicate and understand them is an even more productive part of that "growing up" process.  

May we all have a chance to experience a little heartburn now and again to keep us growing up!  

3 comments:

  1. i realize this isn't the point of your post, but I've noticed a huge decrease in my heartburn since I went off sugar & white flour.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you test positive for Gest. Diabetes?

      Delete
  2. right after i wrote that I had a bad heartburn day haha. no, I was in the gray area though. since michael had shoulder dystocia & that's one of the common problems w/babies of GD, my dr told me to take precautions.

    ReplyDelete